Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
He did a backflip because drugs
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
