i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Randomize
