dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
