I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
