I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
Randomize