Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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