I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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