I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
