i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
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