This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
