Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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