In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Randomize
