508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
