happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
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