i think i have herpe
just one?
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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