Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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