I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
We have started to decorate penises.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
