I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Randomize
