I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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