I think scott just propositioned me for sex
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
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