I just cut my nipple shaving
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
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