I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
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