I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
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