so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
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