I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
Welp...herpes.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
Randomize
