My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Randomize
