i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
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