So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
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