Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
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