I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
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