Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
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