I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
