And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
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