OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
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