a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
only you would photoshop your dick
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
