I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Randomize
