Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Randomize
