Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Randomize
