I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
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