I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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