i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
