just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Randomize
