Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
Randomize
