ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
