He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
I just found a bag of teeth...
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Randomize
