i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
this just has baby written all over it
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
