I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
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