highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
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