I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
Randomize