Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Randomize
