if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
Randomize
