dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
Randomize
