she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
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