just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
