either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Randomize
