I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Randomize
