She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
