We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
