Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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