I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
