LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
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