That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
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