I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
