is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Randomize
