Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Randomize
