i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
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