went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize