We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
we're chasing vodka with high fives
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
