how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
Randomize
