i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
