Pants 0. Shit 1.
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
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