Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize