Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
Randomize
