carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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