I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize
