the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
