I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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