I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
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