Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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