If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Randomize
