that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Is that strawberry winking at me??
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
